TOP 10

...reasons to date outside the literary disciplines
by: Vince Bergado

10. Other people might find your Shakespearean pickup lines interesting.

9. You won’t be exposed in a workshop for that drunken one night stand.

8. You might find someone who prefers talking to you over reading a book.

7. They will forgive you for liking Dan Brown and Harry Potter.

6. Your habit of reading books (any books) will be considered interesting and quaint.

5. Differing opinions on Post-modernism can be a deal-breaker.

4. You can teach them proper use of object case pronouns, and they can teach you the proper application of the information found in Cosmo and Maxim.

3. It’s not like you have to worry about gold diggers.

2. They won’t wonder why you have not published yet.

1. Nowhere to go but up – make your mom proud!

...Democrats won’t vote for Obama-Biden
by: Vince Bergado

10. The Green party is more attractive to liberals that have gotten used to having no impact in national politics

9. Hillary used a more effective fist-bump with her spouse

8. Biden is so old he once saw Roosevelt give a speech on TV

7. Never before has there been a VP the American people could fantasize about

6. He’s so Euro that he will commission a techno remix of the national anthem for all White House events.

5. Trigger-happy is now the most important qualification for a VP

4. McCain will provide better material for the Onion

3. Liberals get anxious when they don’t have something to complain about

2. He won’t wear the flag pin because he has always preferred the hammer and sickle cufflinks

1. Ignorance.

... reasons to be a poet
by: Samantha Lê

10. People excuse your eccentricities.

9. Everything you have to say has already been said better by someone dead-- no need to try too hard.

8. Alcohol is your friend.

7. You can talk to yourself in public.

6. You are expected to give in to temptations.

5. Bathing is optional.

4. If no one comes to your reading, you can claim to be misunderstood.

3. No need for matching socks.

2. Counting syllables is a sport.

1. Making money is considered selling out.

… reasons to vote in this election
by: Samantha Lê

10. It makes you feel like your opinion matters, even if no one listens to you in real life.

9. You get to take time off from work.

8. You get an “I voted” sticker.

7. The voting booths are romantically cramp.

6. It will give you something to talk about.

5. You can stop for lunch after you’re done.

4. It’s a good way to meet and catch up with your neighbors.

3. Brad Pitt does it and so does Puff Daddy.

2. It’s a chance to make-up for marking the wrong box in the last election.

1. It's a chance to rock the red, white and blue look.

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